I'll Take Natasha and Boris Any Day

Remember just about a week ago, when I was waxing poetic about my new office? Well, it's still perfect. I still love it. But something has come to my attention since taking up residence in my new space.

I was hearing, now and then, the pitter-patter of little feet above me, and since no small children made their way down to my office at noon to ask for tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches cut into strips, I had to investigate. My attic isn't one of those pull-down contraptions with rickety steps up to a jumble of forgotten treasures. It just has a little baby door at the top of a carpeted staircase. So innocent and homey and Alice-in-Wonderlandish. Until I saw the fluff of insulation peeking out from under the door.

I banged on the door like an impatient UPS driver to make sure there was no movement behind there, and then opened it a crack. That's all I needed to see the utter destruction of poor Alice's secret hidey-hole. I slammed it shut, called the trusty pest control company everyone I know uses, and confirmed what I thought (squirrels) with one exception: I have since learned that mine were FLYING squirrels. Like Rocket J. Squirrel, of Rocky and Bullwinkle, only I don't think mine were wearing that cute little aviator cap or the goofy smile. But I do think they have homes and clothes and wigs and probably cars and boats made out of the insulation from my rafters, because there sure isn't much of it left up there.

So say what you will about the evil Natasha and Boris - and for that matter, the perpetually magic-trick-challenged Bullwinkle - they are okay in my book, because they have very politely stayed out of my home. But to Rocky, that dastardly scoundrel, I offer his favorite oath, "Hokey smoke!" Not cool, brutha. You owe me some insulation, and some restored childhood faith in cartoon characters. But if I can only have one, I'll take the insulation.

© 2015 A Bit of Brie/Anitabrie